Darkness: Hello there long lost friend,
I'm sick and tired, please take my hand?
Let's walk until my mind is clear 
of all the things I once held dear. 
Fill up my mind with feel good lies, 
So I can ignore my Father's cry. 
I know He really cares for me 
but for right now, I can't come clean. 
There's something special about The Light, 
It doesn't let go, puts up a good fight.
It lets you run as far as you'd like,
until finally you realize Who's holding you tight. 

Ephesians 3:16-21:

"I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."

Waiting and Watching.

I pray to God-my life a prayer-
and wait for what He'll say and do.
My life's on the line before God, my Lord,
waiting and watching till morning,
waiting and watching till morning.
Psalm 130:5-8

CHRISTMAS BREAK! Glory to God! Maybe I'll be able to start blogging more! Today, I've been meditating on God's Word & I came across Psalm 130:5-8. It's pretty rad if you ask me. My biggest flaw in my Christian walk is my patience. I've always been a here & now kinda girl. I'm always on a schedule & if things don't match up with HOW I want them or WHEN I want them, I get very ansy. So this verse definitely stole my attention & caught my eye. Why? The part that obviously needs to be paid attention to is probably the line that is repeated double time. "Waiting and watching till morning." I've done some studying on every verse you can find about waiting, patience and everything else that has to do with God's timing. The most interesting thing I've found is that "patiently waiting" really means "waiting while I wait." HOLY COW! I'm terrible at waiting.... much alone WAITING WHILE WAITING!? God, that's so much for you to ask of me! Are you sure? (Insert God's laughter here.) ;) He's God. Of course He's sure. My life is my prayer. I wait for what He says and does. My life is ON THE LINE BEFORE MY GOD. God knows the next step I'm going to take, the next sentence I will speak and the next person that will walk into my life. NOT on my time; on His. If I gave my heart and emotions out to every guy that has ever pursued either of those things, I would have nothing left by this point. I thank my Father for setting me apart with my purity. I'm a Senior in high school. 17 years old. And I have never had my first kiss. Am I nun? No. That would be miserable. I do not think I am called to a life of singleness but through my teenage years,  Yes, I have definitely been called to singleness. And it's been a long, rocky, hard, lonely road but if it is going to glorify my God and in the end glorify my precious husband I will be single 110%. And that is what I have done. I want the next person I date to be my future husband. If that's 2 months, 2 years or even longer. I mean I wish it could be tomorrow but I have to die to my desires daily to glorify my Jesus. He is good and I put all my trust in the everlasting God. My sweet Man is out there somewher. God will always be MORE than enough for me though.

Waiting Patiently,
Tay.

Come After Me

Please stop walking in my mind,
I think about you all the time.
Just take your charm, pack up and leave,
I'll think of you when fall turns spring.
I'm writing this so I may see,
The best of you gets the worst of me.
Am I naive to sit and wonder?
This void I have is full of hunger.
You've always been the one whose set;
My standards high that no ones met.
It's not okay to wait for nothing,
Phone calls, texts, please just something.
Hoping that I'm worth the fight,
Waiting for you takes all my might.
Can you not see the want in my eyes?
Or is it so you just don't mind?
My feelings for you get stronger and stronger,
which is why I'll wait no longer.
Take me as I am or watch as I leave,
This is your last chance....Please, come after me.

Yours Not Mine

Hello bloggers, I'm going to start posting my poems on here because people have asked me to share them! This poem is entitled "Yours Not Mine," and is about a girl who forgot her first love, Jesus Christ. Enjoy :)

I don't know really what to say,
It's been so long since I called Your Name.
Darkness swallowed me, took me under,
For to long I've lived in wonder.
I'm at a loss for words, My God,
I don't know how I strayed so far.
I'm thankful for Your grace tonight.
I can finally lay my head down right.
You're The One who makes things new,
I need to surrender my all to You.
So take my heart, hold it in Your Hands,
I still believe in the purpose of Your Plan.
You never leave nor forsake me,
I confide in You; My Rock, My Safety.
I don't know where to go from here,
for the first time You feel so near.
Always there to grab my hand,
pull me up from the sinking sand.
My heart cries out to sing Your praise,
I'll never doubt Your sufficient grace.
There's something more I'm bound to find,
So take my life it's Yours not mine.

Proverbs 3:5

 "A woman’s heart plans her way, but the Lord directs her steps.” Proverbs 16:9

Lord, today I come to you with a heart full of longing. A heart full of wonder and questions that have been arousing in my mind for weeks now. Usually I have little misfits about my non-dating life, but this one has lasted 6 weeks to long. It's been months. And It's driving me crazy. I wake up and I think about my future husband. I look at my lonely phone that doesn't recieve cute little text; and I think about my future husband. I spend Friday nights alone and I think about my future husband. I go to church on Sundays by myself and think about my Future Husband. I spend Thanksgiving with my family and think about my future husband. I sit outside during a storm and I think about my future husband. I go to sleep thinking about my future husband. I want him. I love him. I need him. Where is he? I know that you are the God of perfect timing. But my clock does not match up with yours yet I know that it should. Please God, settle my heart. Give me a sense of your everlasting peace. I need comfort. I trust in you, I really do... I just feel like I've been obediant to Your will for so long and I'm not getting anything in return... But I know I will.. I've been so pure in my singleness when my sweet husband comes into my life, you are going to bless our relationship so much. THAT is what keeps me going and keeps me waiting. Gal 6:9 is what I'm going to do until you bring him into my life. I know you are molding my heart and His so that when we do meet, they will fit perfectly together. So just keep building up our relationship and i'll just keep trusting you. Eventhough it's really hard.

To my Future Husband:
Wherever you are, I love you. My heart aches to meet you and get to know everything about you. You are seriously going to be wonderful.. I can't even fathom how handsome & perfect you are going to be for me :) I'm so excited.... I pray for you all the time.. that God would not only be molding my heart to meet you but that He would be molding your heart for mine as well. I know He is. I bet you are such a Man of God. I can't wait to pray together. For you to pray over me. It's going to be beautiful. We're going to be so blessed by our Father for our patience. I wonder if you have stayed single and pure for me as I have for you? Or if you have dated a lot of girls? If so, I'm jealous of all of those girls. Whenever you find me, I might have to punch every one of them for taking a piece of my husband. :)

I love you,
Your lovely wife!

Seasons of Change.

October came and went so fast
My life was fine, my friends were vast.
The wind and leaves so swift and strong,
must've swept my friends up wrong.
They started doing things not right,
I tried to pray and hang on tight.
Then I heard a sweet voice say,
"Love and let them go, My Tay."
I've never been so hurt and broken,
for my friends who once were tokens.
I didn't want to leave them be,
but my heart played a different melody.
So here I stand in Novembers Hand,
Trusting in my Father's great Plan.